Dear Jacob,
It is a very distinct memory. The anticipation. Who are you? What will you look like? Are you healthy?
The excitement. As I walked down the hall to surgery, there was a sense of anxiety, mixed with anticipation and excitment. FINALLY you were going to be here with us. That was 12 months ago. . .
And you didn't let us down. You are everything we could have prayed for, and much, much more. From the moment they laid you in my arms, love overwhelmed me. Each day, as your personality has emerged, I love you more and more. And just when I think I am maxed out, you do something to make that love swell and overflow all over again.
Your disposition is sweet - and it would have to be as you battle floor time with a 5 lb mutt and battle for face time with your 4 year old attention seeking brother. Speaking of your brother. .. you LOVE him. You seek him out. You love to watch him, play with him, babble at him, kiss him, hug him. Wherever he is, you want to be. And I love that. I know you two will have your battles, but I pray that the underlying love is always there. You are a silly boy, who likes to dance. We call you "Twinkle Toes" right now, because as you learn to walk, you tend to do a little jig across the floor until you get to the spot where you throw yourself down in gales of giggles and squeals of delight. You love music and are already learning to perfect your dance moves, which right now appear to be a cross between heavy-metal headbanger and king of disco. You watch everything. You observe everything. You soak in every person and every thing in your surroundings. Those who know you can see the wheels of your mind turning as you figure out the world around you. That's exciting for us. Each and every day, we see the same old things new, through your eyes.
This past year, getting to know you, has been amazing. We have watched you change in so many ways, from your outside appearance to the inside development of your personality. Each milestone has been met with anticipation and excitement. With this being our "second time around" as parents, it is even more exciting, as we know what each milestone brings! We know how fulfilling it will be to see you smile. We know the sweet sound of your baby's laughter. We know the thrill a parent feels when their child rolls over and stils up for the first time. The thrill has been even greater as Samuel shared in all of this with us. He has cheered you on with each accomplishment and tried to help you learn to crawl and walk. He sat you up when you couldn't do it yourself with the attitude of "He ain't heavy, he's my brother".
I know this next year will be even more exciting. While I wish you could stay little, cuddled in my arms, I can't wait for you to grow and talk. I can't wait to hear the things you have to say to us and find out what is going on in that little curly head. You are so beautiful and your sweetness overflows to those around you. I pray it stays that way and we can continue to see the world through your eyes.
Just know, that I love you. I treasure each and every moment that I get the honor of rocking you to sleep, soothing your tears or calming a fear. I know that this year, those times will dwindle where there will be less rocking and more independence. I will always remember the feel of my warm, chubby baby. I will always remember the feel of your soft curls, brushing against my chin as you slip off to sleep on my shoulder. I will never forget your sweet, wet baby kisses, nor will I forget how those big blue eyes stare up at me in the dark as I sing you softly to sleep. Those are my moments to cherish.
As you head into your second year, we will find more moments. We will meet more milestones. And, above all else, we will grow together, as a family, united in love.
Happy Birthday.
Love,
Mommy
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